I Would Not Give Anything for Health

Maybe you’ve heard someone say, “I would give anything to be healthy again.”
I thought about this statement. It places health above all else. And while I would give a lot to be healthy again, no, I wouldn’t give anything.
You see, even when you are chronically ill, there can be more important things than health. For me personally, there are a few actually (and I have a really shitty chronical condition).
I wouldn’t trade my loved ones for health.
I wouldn’t trade my freedom for health
I wouldn’t trade my safety for health.
Even if there are problems in my country, I live in a relatively safe and well-off country. I enjoy a lot of freedom and rights that not everyone in this world has. I am surrounded by people who love me and care for me, and whom I love dearly and wouldn’t want to miss.
So does my life with a chronic illness suck? You bet it does. It is hard to lose the career you love. It sucks to be in pain 24/7, every week, every month, every year. And do you know how children count the times they still have to sleep until something great happens? Well, I don’t. For me, going to bed means I’m not distracted by activities anymore, which means I’ll actually feel every little pain. For me, going to bed is a coin flip between lying awake for half an hour, a few hours, or the whole night. For me, going to bed means I’ll need to find enough energy to actually get up again. What is a matter of “I want to get up so I do get up” for most people can result in me lying in bed, unable to find enough energy to actually open my eyes (and keep them open) and sit up yet at the same time knowing my day is flying away.
It sucks being unable to focus on things you want to do (like watching a movie, or reading). On some days, my energy and focus are just barely enough to mindlessly browse the Internet while time flies by.
But you know what? I’d much rather be chronically ill yet free, safe, and surrounded by loved ones, than healthy, unfree, in danger, and alone.
I’d give a lot to be healthy again. I won’t give everything.


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