There’s still one paper I have to hand in for university for my current BA. One paper, and then two seminars and a written exam in June. Sounds like a breeze, doesn’t it?
Well, if you pair a very complex topic with severe sleeping problems and a brain that may randomly shut down for a complete reboot (hello, Windows, no clue how I came up with you in this context), which could take anywhere from a few minutes to the rest of the day, suddenly this one paper becomes the Iron Man.
And in case you were wondering, yes, knowing I still needed to finish this paper did stress me out. Depending on my overall mood, I’d say the stress level of this knowledge was between a mild guilt while gaming (because even with a strategy CCG, it still takes less brain capacity than focusing on a complex topic that will be graded) and paralyzing horror (as in, I have lots to do but am unable to focus on anything because I’m completely overwhelmed and wondering whether I’ll get anything done in time).
“Just plan it for the next day, make time for it.” Yeah, thanks, great advice. For healthy people. I lost count of the days where, going to bed, I did exactly that. Make a mental note that the next day, I would do X for the paper. Only to have my brain turn on me (traitor!) and prevent me from sleeping, or from getting more than a few hours of dozing between tossing and turning, and getting up exhausted and frustrated–and kind of defeated.
Believe me, working on a complex thing–any complex thing–after a night of insomnia is not the greatest idea. Unless you like lots of mistakes, or re-doing your work on a day when your focus is better.
It was a long and hard battle. I paid for it in curses, stress, frustration and gifts to my brain (aka chocolate). But, I prevailed (by the way, thanks to my very helpful brain, it took me a nice improv round of Taboo with hubby, and then a dalliance with Thesaurus, to remember this word–another thing my brain likes to do more often nowadays).
This afternoon, I finished up the paper and printed it out. (Cue the hallelujah and the angelic choir. Thanks.)
Now if I can remember to get it bound on Wednesday, and then to hand it in next week Monday, that’d be great.
Victoria est meam. Vale.