An Open Letter to Laners (LoL)

Dear laners,

Yes, I hear your pings and yes, I see your chat messages. I also see you pushing up to enemy tower while you ask (really, demand) me for assistance. Do you know what else I see? A ganking opportunity on another lane that is not pushed. An opening to do drake while both enemy botlaners had to go base or were killed. So no, I won’t come to your lane right now.

Yes, I hear your pings and yes, I see your chat messages. I also saw you die to your enemy laner three times before you even hit level 4. I see your laner is 3 levels above me. No, I won’t gank your lane now. I don’t want to die, thus feeding your laner even more. I’d rather do something useful. Play safe. You lost your lane, now don’t blame me for it.

Yes, I hear your pings and yes, I see your chat messages. Yes, I see that the enemy jungler is camping your lane. I also know that, at the moment, I would probably die if I tried to countergank your lane. So I’ll tell you to play safe while I try to catch up or help our other lanes (there’s no fear of being counterganked on another lane, after all, if the enemy jungler stays busy on your lane).

Yes, I hear your pings, and yes, I see your chat messages. And no, I won’t offer you blue buff if you started flaming me after getting yourself killed at level 2 when I wasn’t even anywhere near your lane. Play safer, stop flaming, and we can talk about the next blue buff. I don’t need the enemy team with two blue buffs if I can also make use of it.

Yes, I hear your pings and yes, I see your chat messages. But did you see the enemy jungler ganking me in my own jungle and killing me while you stayed on lane farming? I pinged for help too. Now I’m behind and need to farm up again (or gank a strong lane to get kills and assists). I can’t gank your struggling lane right now.

Yes, I hear your pings and yes, I see your chat messages. But I can’t split myself in three to help out all lanes at the same time, so I need to make a choice. Which means two of you won’t get a gank right now. Flaming me for not coming won’t make it any likelier that you’ll be the next lane I’ll try to help.

Yours faithfully,

Your Jungler

P.S.: While I focused on the negative examples in this open letter, I also wanted to say GJ to all those great laners out there who really work together with their jungler to the team’s mutual benefit. You’re great!

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